Goodnight lovely one – I am thinking of you and I miss you terribly. I am getting quite good now at marking time – the hours tick by, and at least I have learnt to count again correctly!

My need for you is profound – it flows through me, surrounds me and then engulfs me – so please look after yourself because my heart will break without you.

I love you.

I am not sure that I can be especially eloquent today – sorry. I am fine in myself (and warm again having found a coat!) but part of me is just a bit stressed by your sadness today. You really really don’t need to apologise to me today – or in fact ever. The whole point of “us” is that you and I are part of a greater whole and stronger together because of that – so anything you do is just fine with me because I don’t believe that you would do anything without good reason – that is not you. I just want to be able to support and help you more and I anguish because I not very good at that just yet – but I promise that I will try harder and I will do better. But I find it hard at times to not be good enough for you.

I love you so – you enrich my life; your smile, your voice – they just dissolve; you have always shown me such kindness, tenderness and such warmth of heart that I am so very touched by your kindness – your note yesterday brought me to tears and I will always cherish it, I have kept it safe – and plus you make me feel the most extraordinary things with your hands!

So please just be you – tell me what you feel – share with me. Use me to help you – I can’t promise that I can fix everything every time but I will try my utmost and sometimes it is just a good thing to share. In return I promise to share with you – perhaps not my strongest trait, but again I will try – and I will leave it to you to decide how well I am doing.

You and I are “us” – and that is just how it should be…..

I love you, beautiful one.

Inadequate as I feel it to be at times, I need to tell you “I love you”. I also know that I cannot really convey in words what I feel but I hope that you can see from my actions how I feel about you and what you mean to me. Truly, I cannot think of anything more peaceful, or anything that brings me greater contentment than my ‘game’ – I could, and would, just sit there for hours, just playing…

I know that you are upset today, and at times very sad – I can see that in your smile even when you pretend. It breaks my heart to see you like that and if only I could take away your pain, I would do so instantly. I understand why you feel as you do – if only life were straightforward…. So please no apologies for feeling sad – remember, help and teach me to know you better so that I can be the best I can be for you.

Yet what gives me strength and confidence here is “us”. We agreed that we would let there be an “us” because it would be a good thing – and I do not believe that that decision was a bad one or that it was a mistake. For me, “us’ is truly wonderful – you are in my head, and in my heart, and in my soul – and I would not have it any other way. I yearn to be with you and it is painful when you are not there; our time together, whilst magical and delightful, is never nearly enough.

If we are to have a future, then the future has to be rooted in “us”. I cannot promise certainty all of the time but as long as we are “us” – honest and truthful with each other (and I am 100% sure that we both are) – “us” will endure and “us” will find its own path with time. So don’t feel bad about feeling sad or uncertain, life is like that at times. But you are a truly wonderful and delightful person and I am so very fortunate that you want me – and together we are very definitely “us”.

My beautiful one, I love you.

I have never felt so much for anyone and you simply overwhelm me – I really really really want you to know how much you are loved and wanted.

Time spent with you is wonderful, peaceful, exciting, enchanting. And then we have to part and the aching, gnawing pain in my soul returns eating away at me counting down the time until we are together again. And so it is but I will send more messages each day – imperfect as they are, but helping me to show you how special you truly are.

I love you.

Today I get to see you again – that makes it a good day and my heart soars. Not much sleep completely mesmerised by thoughts of you – and I would not change that for anything.

I love you.

Constantly thinking of you – please look after yourself.

I love you, beautiful one.

I cannot explain nor adequately describe in words how simply beautiful you are. The time spent with you today was magical and only serves to reinforce and deepen my love for you. Caressing your skin, your back, your gentle curves – being able to show you in so many ways how much I adore you – so much until today was just all in my dreams.

Again, we will find our own way through things together – and whilst I can’t pretend to know all of the answers by any means, what I can say is that nothing is pre-determined. Neither of us would have predicted where we are now – yet this is indeed where we are – and I for one, am blissfully happy that this is so. So, together, let’s see what the future holds for us.

I love you.

Please forgive my awkwardness and ineptness rather than believe that these are not the things that I want. In part it is the outpouring of emotion from me which in its desire to be heard tramples almost everything in its path; in part it is because I am still overawed by why you feel as you do and don’t really understand why you do what you do; and in part it is because it just takes a bit of getting used to.

But never, not once, has any of this been because I am unhappy or because somehow I have ended up in a place where I don’t want to be.

I am truly sorry (and frustrated at my ineptness) because what comes across to you is so very very far from the actual truth.

I love you, and know that I need to do more to show it.