Hello my darling beautiful one. I think I am a bit drunk (but not too much, honest). Everyone else has gone to sleep – just me and the dog and she is looking at me to say “I am not going out at this time of night”. I have fixed the outside lights so have done something useful already this weekend.

I need to tell you some things about me I think.

I love you. You are quite simply the most beautiful soul I have ever known. No one has ever shown me the kindness that you do. I see the love that you show me – in your smile, in your kiss, in what you do with your hands. To you this is all straightforward because you love me – and I get that – and it is truly wonderful. But for me, no one has ever shown me that same kindness – I have never seen anyone smile at me in the way that you do. Your smile from the day we all went to dinner with the Scandinavian visitors – it is etched into my soul, and will be forever.

And then, you drive me insane. You make me uncontrolled. And that takes a bit of getting used to. Well actually quite a lot of getting used to. I have never been uncontrolled before, ever. Not with anyone. Maybe that is my fault? perhaps? I don’t know. Other people have loved me, and I have loved others but not like this, not like you.

I want to belong to you – I am mindful of your heart – so I am sorry – but I cannot pretend otherwise. I want to belong to you – and actually I do belong to you – at least in my head and in my heart that is the case. I need you so.

Whilst I have been typing this I have been getting slower and slower perhaps a bit more drunk – and now I think that I have definitely had too much to drink.

I am very lonely without you.

I love you x.