Sitting here thinking of you – talking to you in my head. Telling you how much I love you and how much I want to care for you; telling you how happy you make me feel when I am with you; and telling you how beautiful you are to me. Apologising to you for the muddled signals I give you because I am inept; for not being better at all of this – but I am trying… Reminding you (and me!) about travel plans – I am still checking daily!

All of this takes the edge from how much I miss you – the ache is there but temporarily dulled – and I so long to see you. Your message today helps too – the slightest thing brings some sunshine to me.

I don’t always know what to say to you – sometimes I think I ramble on – but somehow I need to release the emotion in me for you and even if only very imperfectly try to tell you what you mean to me.

I love you.

Happy New Year my lovely one – a year for “us” I hope. Although apart, in my head you were in my arms at midnight and you name was on my lips – a kiss for you. Going for a walk, longing to hear your voice and to feel the peace and contentment that time with you brings.

You brighten my world, showing me what I have never seen before. You disrupt me, changing everything, and you show me love in the most extraordinary way. And all of it, every single detailed bit of it is just astonishingly wonderful, beguiling and engulfing me at every turn. I am overwhelmed by you and it is good.

I love you.