Thank you for letting me know that you are ok – I am always wondering how you are, what you are doing…. But just knowing that you are ok lifts me up and settles me (at least for a bit!). In a bit I will be on my own, and then I will sit here with my eyes closed, and some quiet deep breaths, and then I know…. instead of noise – maths, physics, computing, history, or even geopolitics (!) – there will be you, just you.

And this is when you make me cry, because your “hand grenades” in my head make me peaceful.

I love you my darling beautiful one x.

Hello beautiful one – deliveries done – had dinner (with the help of the microwave).

You looked so very lovely this afternoon – beautiful, sexy, desirable, exquisite.

I try really hard but I can’t help but feel so unworthy of you. I know that you will tell me off and I hear you in my head as I write. And I am definitely getting better at this. But at the same time, I look at you, the most ethereal and heavenly beautiful woman sat in front of me this afternoon and I am overwhelmed by your absolute perfection, almost incredulous that you would want me.

But I will get better at this, I promise, because I do believe what you tell me – and I see your love in everything that you do for me.

I am so very lucky to have you in my life. I used to think that I was just needy for you – but now I realise that I am totally addicted to you – and it feels really very good indeed.

I love you x.

Before I do deliveries – I need to tell you how much I love you.

I am feeling very emotional at the moment – this afternoon was the most beautifully loving time with you. I never imagined that being in love you would be quite so breathtaking. Your love overwhelms me – I only hope that you feel my love for you in the very same way.

I love you my beautiful one x.

You are the most exceptional woman I have ever known. In every way imaginable.

I know that I talk about “hand grenades” – but actually (and perhaps it does not come across that way) I mean this in a very affectionate way. You have disrupted me in so many ways but all of them for the better – not one single itty bitty negative one. Two days in a row my head has been quiet for a while – the first time in about 30 years. And all because of you, only you, extraordinary you. No persecution, no hounding – all just replaced by wonderful lovely beautiful you.

So you absolutely must not change – the “hand grenades” are part of you – and I am in love with you just as you are – the definitely perfect you.

Today was magical – I am speechless. I am so relieved (I was anxious too, you know) that you don’t have “buyer’s remorse” because I would so love to do all of that again (just need more sugar – and by all, I mean that I also get to do that intense thing for you too again – after all it was delicious….)

I love you beautiful one x.

The most beautiful of afternoons spent with the most beautiful woman feeling the most beautiful sensations.

Please don’t misunderstand me being overwhelmed by your love for me for regret – I am engulfed by you and I belong to you. But the intensity is simply extreme – wonderfully so.

Every day in every way my love for you deepens. You are extraordinary.

I love you my darling beautiful one x.

Sat here thinking of you – waiting to leave to come and see you. Thinking about how kind you are to me – how gentle and loving you are. You overwhelm my emotions with all of this – I have never known such intensity. Sometimes I am beside myself with all-consuming love for you – that’s when I just want to get up and come and find you, wherever you may be – just overwhelming.

I love you my beautiful one x.

Thinking about our trip, spending time with you. There will be work too but I will see you all the time and it will be great. You mesmerise me.

I love you x.

Every day when I wake up the first thing I think about is you. I am so very grateful to have you in my life. I had been in love with you for a little while (nowhere near as long as you have loved me!) before you told me how you felt. Never did I imagine though what actually being able to live and breath that love would mean to me, what being close to you and being able to show you how much I love you would mean. It is all breathtaking.

So every day when I wake up I have to almost pinch myself just to check that “us” is real. I know that I am being selfish when I say that I need you and want you in my life but it is how I feel, and I cannot pretend otherwise. I do know that “us” is real – I see and feel your love for me in everything that you do and say, and in that smile of yours which is engraved on my soul.

I see “us” growing daily just as my love for you deepens daily. You have turned my life upside down in the most strikingly disruptive yet absolutely perfect way – and I am so very very happy. You are truly wonderful.

I love you beautiful one x.