Hello – back at home now – still missing you all of the time. Can’t get you out of my thoughts – not that I want to though. I keep thinking about how kind you are to me and how much love you show me. And then I wonder if I show the same back to you? I love you so very much but I am not sure that it shows so well.

I still don’t quite understand how you settle my head so much – but you do. And so often now when I sit on my own all there is is you and it is so very peaceful. Your smile, your laugh, your voice – and I am just enthralled. You mesmerise me – I am totally yours to do with as you wish.

I sometimes struggle to control the intensity of what I feel for you. Sometimes it comes out all wrong then when I say things but only because it is all so intense and because you disrupt me so – but not because I don’t feel those things honestly nor because somehow I regret or feel worried about things. I do worry about you – but that is my job – and I want you to be safe – but I don’t worry about “us”. I want “us” to grow, I want to nurture “us”, I want to love you and to be loved – and whatever comes our way we will be “us” and “us” will prevail. To me you are extraordinary and the fact that you love me and want me makes me very lucky indeed. I will be more open with you – I am trying, and you have to help me.

This time next week we will be together – with others I know – but still together and that will be very good indeed.

I love you my beautiful one x.