Hi back from the walk – sat in the dark for a bit thinking of that beautiful smile as you walked across the room at dinner on tuesday night – the “it’s time to go” smile! So many and such overwhelmingly wonderful and truly amazing memories from only a few days together – I can barely breath sometimes when I think of them all. I am not sure what I anticipated but reality was so much more.

I really need “us” – I need you. You are everything.

I love you beautiful one x.

Hello beautiful one – dinner here not going well, as predicted – if you are asked to do something but then no one wants to listen to your view… but I did try. So I have hidden in the toilet in the usual fashion!

Should I feel bad that I don’t care about dinner? I did genuinely try, honestly, but it always ends like this. I used to care but no more – and if that makes me a bad and selfish person then so be it – that is what I am. But truly I don’t care.

I will go for a walk in a bit – need some air – need to talk with you. To tell you how my heart longs for you, how much I want to hold you, how much I want to see that beautiful smile, how much I want to fall asleep with you – I miss you so very much. I won’t be out late – I promise so please don’t fret – I will send a message when I am back to prove that I am not in a ditch!

Hours ticking by until monday – very slowly – I love you my darling beautiful one x.

I am so very lucky indeed to have you in my life. You brighten my day – you lift my soul – you bring me untold happiness in everything that you do and say. You show me unbounded love – kind and tender, passionate and profound. I hope that you see the same in me for those very same feelings run in my inner being for you.

As time passes and as we grow ever closer, I see you telling me more freely about the things that trouble you. I too tell you more and more and feel very safe in doing so. I want you to tell me when you are having a bad time – it is ok – I have similar episodes of sadness. We though are “us” and so we share these moments of unhappiness as well as sharing some very magical moments as the “us” which we nurture starts to flourish. In no way though does this make you “needy”, “hard work” or even a “shrew” – it simply makes you human and emotional. And please remember that I too feel these same very intense emotions and all of the consequences that they bring.

You have my gift – very uninspiring in physical form – but yet the embodiment of what we shared this week. For me this was the most intense and idyllic time encompassing absolute and profound love for the most exquisite and beautiful woman that I have ever known. Without you I am bereft and broken; with you, in your arms, I am complete.

I love you my beautiful one x.

Wondering how you are, hope you are ok. I have violent swings of profound sadness and loss alternating with the happiest memories ever of just being together, chatting, laughing, being close, making love, and just waking to see you there next to me.

You are the very best person for me – definitely perfect.

I love you beautiful one x.

Thank you for letting me call – just to hear you is a truly wonderful thing. I hope that I did not get you into trouble.

I miss you terribly – I just want to get up from here and leave but I know that I can’t. But transiently at least, hearing your lyrical and musical voice eases my pain – your love soothes me and comforts me.

Going out with the dog – fresh air therapy…!

I adore you – I need you – I ache for you – I love you x.

Hello beautiful one – sat here in the quiet with just you in my head – your smile and voice as always accompanied by overwhelming love for you. I need to speak with you if only for a short while just so I can hear you…. Will call soon.

I love you beautiful one x.

Terrible sleep – the words “missing you” don’t even come close to describing how I feel today. Yet sat here thinking about the lift story, the sandpaper story, that sunday afternoon in the bar and so many more wonderful memories of you.

It hurts right now – but it won’t hurt forever and “us” is about as amazing as it gets.

You are extraordinary – I will always be patient and wait for you because it is true that good things come to those who wait…..

I love you beautiful one x.

Can’t sleep – the pain in me is almost unbearable. I need to be with you x.