Thank you for my messages – I need you to understand that this was not your fault – it was mine. But yesterday was not a good day for either of us – for different reasons – and for me there was a profound sadness and disappointment to deal with.

Today is different – I am better but still sad – but this time because I cannot see you. So “usual” weekend sadness – that is not to say that it does not hurt but at least I know it passes. Yesterday’s sadness was laced with a deep rooted fear that you would send me away. But you haven’t and I am so very grateful indeed.

“Us” is amazing, you are amazing – I love you my beautiful one x.