There are more choices for me to make here – one by one I need to plot a path for us and unpick some things here. I love my children – that is true – but I also love you – and in a way that is so much more than I ever imagined – and it is very good.

I feel selfish, I feel needy, I feel alone at times, jealous at other times, I know that you are not mine but I hate giving you back. I want the person next to me when I wake in the night to be you. I want to be able to come and find you in the day and to tell you I love you without anyone looking over my shoulder. I want to make love to you whenever we want…..

My heart is yours – you are exquisite and I love you my darling beautiful one x