Can’t stop thinking about you – you monopolise my thoughts – and that is just fine with me (in fact, exactly as I want it), beautiful one. I would wish to spend all my time with you if I had my way. You are just totally mesmerising – enchanting and captivating. I find you totally intoxicating – and I want you so very much. Plus you are so very beautiful, I desire you – you make me uncontrolled for you when we are intimate – and that is truly heavenly.

You are the most amazing woman – and I love you. I had never anticipated the intense emotions that you bring out in me – but I am so very glad that you do – I do not want to give you up my beautiful one x.

Sitting here thinking about you and how we are when we are together. Thinking about how well we get on, even talking about some difficult things. How quickly time passes when we are together – hours seem to pass in an instant. How we look after each other and worry about each other. How we both feel the pain of our time apart.

You treat me so differently to the way in which I have been treated before. You show me kindness and tenderness and you love me in such an amazing way. I feel so very close to you both emotionally and physically. I adore you my darling. I want to be with you.

I love you my beautiful one x.

Lots of things for me to think about and to talk with you about – no decisions I promise – not without you. But if we both spend some time thinking then we can talk and share and plan I hope.

You are the most amazing woman I have ever known – I want you so very much.

I love you my darling beautiful one x.

Hello lovely, finished jobs in the garden – done 7k rowing too. Wondering what you are doing – hope you are ok – as much as can be.

Counting down the days until you are back – then counting down the days until our trip. Then more trips in May which will be lovely. I know it seems a long way off but I am looking forward to them.

Wanting to hold you close to me – wanting to keep you safe – wanting to make love to you. So many emotions and so much love for you – you are definitely perfect and I love you my beautiful one x.

Hi – more jobs to do – will write later beautiful one – always thinking of you – you are in my heart eternally – I love you x.

I wish I could write to you like you do to me. I write lots and all the time, some of it very repetitive. But in far fewer words you convey the deepest and most profound feelings in the most extraordinary way. I have never read such truly beautiful words written by anyone – and then what really overwhelms me is that these words are about me. I know that I will never understand that. I believe your love – I feel the love that you show me daily, I feel the love that I have for you welling up from within me too. But not in a million years could I write like you do.

I know how difficult you are finding things – I feel so powerless to help you or support you in any way. I can only in my very imperfect way describe to you a story.

A story of a man who was blind to a love that was revealed to him every day quietly and subtly by a beautiful soul. And then one day, the beautiful soul revealed just a little more, a little window into her soul. Through that tiny opening as his blindness cleared, there he saw the embodiment of absolute love, true femininity and definite perfection. And as he started to understand what he was seeing, from within him, hidden behind the wall that had secured him for years, started to flourish a love for her – one that had been denied, pushed behind the wall, known only to the innermost him.

And so the story continues – the beautiful soul is the love of his life. The defensive wall is crumbling – with time it will fall – but yet for now, still from time to time it gets in the way – and for that he is truly sorry. But every day, since he looked into the little window into her soul, has been a revelation for him – wave after wave of all-encompassing absolute love from her. Together, now intertwined with a profound love arising within him – they created “us”.

And where next? The rest of the story is not yet written – his dreams will help to shape it, as will hers – together they will walk that path to the sunshine and beyond.

I love you my beautiful one x.

Hello my darling, I am not sure what to say to you. I understand and feel your pain and distress but somehow we need to find a way to make it at least bearable for you. I can only tell you that from the bottom of my heart you are everything to me – I feel completely lost, bereft – and the only thing that will make it better is having you back here where I can see you, hold you and love you.

I do everything I can to feel close to you – I talk to you, I listen to your songs, read your emails, read your messages – all of them help but it seems like for such a short period of time. I am completely addicted to you – when a message comes through my pulse races, my heart leaps – it feels like a drug coursing through my body switching on the most intense emotions and feeling of love. It (the excitement) lasts for a while and then wanes as that gnawing visceral pain in my middle starts to grow again. The love carries on forever.

For what it is worth, I can’t sleep either, not eating, don’t want to talk to anyone etc etc – I just and only want you. It sounds so very simple so why then is it so complicated….?

We do need to talk when you come back – we need to think about a path to the sunshine for both of us. I want to talk, it is not straightforward but it is doable. And please don’t think that talking equates with pressure – it doesn’t. So please, yes, let’s talk.

“Us” needs to grow more – these last few days have taught me that so very clearly. You are the most enchanting woman, beautiful in every way. As I said before I want you, here with me, walking holding hands side-by-side in the sunshine bound together by our love.

I love you my darling beautiful one x.

Sitting here – thinking of you beautiful one – going to write some more x.