As always, lying here thinking of you – just wanting to fall asleep with you in my arms…. I love you x.

I am yours – just dreaming of the sunshine on our faces x.

Lots of stuff today – but fundamentally all that counts is you. I want to say more – but don’t know the words. All I know is that you are the love of my life and I want you. I feel absolute and profound love for you – you are my beautiful one x.

Hello – the dog wandered off. I followed her. I found her eating a dead pigeon that the fox had caught. The pheasants were watching the dog. The owl was on the playhouse watching me and the hedgehog was rolled up in a ball…. It is like a zoo here.

I am sat here in the playhouse (using the wifi – how forward thinking of me!) – I yearn for you – you are my darling beautiful one x.

Sat on the doorstep with the dog (my choice – the dog looks miffed that I sitting in her spot!). First wave of discussions re sleeping alone – somewhat robust but I stood my ground. It would appear that contrary to your view I have no skills at all so apparently there is not much of a loss anyway – which is just fine with me – but then that makes sense because I keep telling you that you fixed me. You just won’t believe me…..

So still on my own – with my darling beautiful one in my head and my heart. And my body longing for yours.

I love you x

I wish I could be stronger than I am to try and support you with the sadness that you feel as you are going away but I am not sure that I can. I will try but my heart is in turmoil. I love you my beautiful one x.

I am sat here trying to think of what to say to you. My job is to look after you and to care for you – to protect you, to keep you safe. I know how sad you are at having to go away. I am sad too. I try (perhaps badly) to reassure you about how I feel about you. I try (perhaps badly) to explain and describe how much you mean to me. I try (perhaps badly) to show you how much I love you. I want you to feel loved, wanted, desired. I want you to know that I am going to wait for you – forever.

Inside my heart is struggling – I love you totally, completely, absolutely – but that pain that I feel when we are apart, it is growing with the knowledge that you are leaving this week. Every day it gets worse – yet how can I be sad when you and I share moments like this morning? – truly magical. And how can I be the one who cares for and supports you – when inside I am falling apart? Does that not just make me a complete waste of space – I feel utterly useless and helpless.

You are everything to me – I need you – I want you – please please please always be yourself with me – whatever that may mean. “Us” only works if we share openly and honestly with each other – it is a true joy to be with you, and I love sharing with you (however bad at it I am).

You are the love of my life – I love you my darling beautiful one x.

Hello – thank you for your time today. I worry about you so very much – I want to care for you and look after you to keep you safe. You are always such a wonderful and peaceful person to be with – my heart is yours.

I love you my beautiful one x.