I can see your message but now I am not sure that my replies are coming through either – will aim to sort later – I am fine – thank you for your message – it was as expected. You are very kind as always – but please don’t ever think that your love is some sort of second best consolation prize. Your love is the most amazing and extraordinary love I have ever known – it is and will never be second best to anything – you are truly exquisite and I love you my beautiful one x.

Hi – walking in the dark (only just dark actually) – no ditches I promise. And I very much in love with you so that makes me feel very good. I miss you more than I can explain – I want you my darling – I love you x.

PS will send a message when I am back – I will be fine – truly. x.

Hi – something wrong with the messaging website I think – nothing coming to my phone but I can see through the web app – I suspect it will sort itself out.

I am in trouble here – it would seem that Mother’s Day was not quite the extravaganza expected – in the usual way. And as usual it is my fault.

So I will take it on the chin as always – and then go for a walk in a bit – I am fine though (truly).

I miss you – I love you so intensely, my beautiful one x

Hi I can see that your messages are not coming through – not sure why – I will send one as if I were you from here. I will reply though separately.

I love you beautiful one x.

I am sat here thinking of you – you mesmerise me, you entice me, you excite me, you care for me, you love me – I adore you, I want you, I dream of you, I yearn for you, I love you my darling.

I feel lost without you – having you be so far far away is so very hard – constantly wondering how you are…

I feel so very jealous too – I want to be the person with you – the person falling asleep with you, the person waking up with you, the person sharing with you. I try not to be jealous but I can’t help it – my desire to be with you just overwhelms me at times.

You are everything in my life now and my life needs to change so that you and I can be “us” together in the sunshine. I love you my beautiful one x.

Every time I think about how much love you show me, I become a bit overwhelmed. You are the kindest soul – and so I feel very sad at times when I think of you being ignored. I can’t imagine ignoring you – if it were entirely in my gift I would spend all of my time with you. Time with you is so very precious and is pure contentment – we need time together, just “us”, relaxing and truly just “us” without any interference or intrusion from others. I want to talk with you about our future, I want us to build and share our own memories, I want “us” to grow, to be even greater than it is now as you said in your message last night.

For now though, I want you to be safe this week – I want you to be as ok as you can be, looking after yourself, (selfishly) for me – because I cannot imagine being without you now. You are in my heart and in my soul, safely entrenched, woven into my very being. My every thought relates to you – I am engulfed by a passion towards you which consumes me fuelling the intense emotions that I have for you, the love of my life.

Emotionally and physically you make me complete – you are exquisite – I cannot adequately describe the deep and profound love that I feel for you and which grows stronger every day, day by day – you are forever my darling beautiful one x.

Hello beautiful one – finished my jobs, finished rowing – thank you for your messages today. I know that this is hard for you but I hope that you are eating a bit and sleeping better than before.

It is very sunny here and reasonably warm – I have just been doing lots of things to keep me occupied but all the time thinking of you. Listening to your songs and being told off for being anti-social and pre-occupied but to be honest there is not much to talk about here either.

I miss you terribly – I worry about you – I would give anything to hear your voice, just to be able to say to you “I love you” and to tell you that you beautiful. As “us” has progressed so many emotions – the strength of which I had never anticipated. I never imagined that my love for you would become so intense or now that I could miss someone quite as much as I miss you this week. Watching your plane on the screen on thursday was perhaps the most painful thing that I can remember – the sense of loss was so profound.

All of this just reinforces to me what an amazing woman you are and how you are so very definitely perfect. As I said earlier I am drawn to you in a way that I cannot explain – I want you – and we need to find a way to the sunshine my darling. Every time you send a message and my phone pings my heart soars – that such a small thing has such a profound effect on me is just a reflection of how entwined within my soul you have become. Both emotionally and physically I want to be entwined with you – so that there is no longer either just me or just you – there is simply “us”.

I love you my beautiful one – I am just counting down the time until you are back safely – you are everything to me x.

Rowing shortly then vegetable peeler as usual – wondering how you are. Intense waves of emotions – some happy, some sad, missing you more than I can say. Sometimes it feels like a normal Sunday where I don’t see you anyway but then suddenly there is the realisation that there is a whole week to go still until I see you again – and that is hard.

Thinking about your radiant smile and the lilting “thank you”. Wanting to caress the small of your back as I hold you. Wanting to feel you gently giving way as I slowly push inside you.

You are everything – my heart belongs to you.

I love you my beautiful one x.