Hello – I think I am a bit drunk, actually in truth I am very drunk – I just drank it very quickly. Where are you? I need you. Whose idea was it not to run away? This now seems like the perfect idea.

I am listening to your songs and they are very lovely.

Can I confess a sin please? I should have gone with the headline of “she complained lots, and then a bit more, and then a bit more” – so I told her to ‘f off’ and she slapped me round the face twice. So now, I am showered, nice and clean, curly hair lying here dreaming of my beautiful one.

Please say how you are – I worry x.