This week has had its highs and lows just as life does in general – all of it – the good and the bad are part of the complexity of “us”. I regret the lows in so many ways – what I said to you and how I behaved at one point are in so many ways unforgivable – yet I am begging you to do just that – to forgive me. In addition I am so very ashamed that I have brought such anguish and pain to your door. And then finally breaking down that night as I did – again I feel very ashamed that I had no control for that time – I cannot let that happen in that way again.

And yet in spite of all of the above my overwhelming memory of this week is how simply wonderful it has been – as you said, paradise. The emotional and physical closeness that we share is extraordinary – something that I have never known before. You ARE unique, special and precious, the love of my life – little things like holding your hand on the escalator – to me like touching an angel.

I cannot tell you enough how much you mean to me – the pain I felt that night when I hurt you ripped through me – my heart was breaking in every possible way. You have brought my soul back to life – you have shown me what love should be, and is, and what it can be – you have provoked in me pure contentment and absolute joy – and then on top of that when I remember what you call me now re intimate moments – you make me laugh and embarrassed in equal measure – not in a million years would I ever be imagined those comparisons!

I do not know the words to describe how profound my love for you is my darling – all I can manage is quite simply I love you my beautiful one x.