Trying really hard to think of the words to explain about me to you. So very tired and yet I cannot sleep.

Sometimes I cannot cope with you – not because you upset me in any way or because you hurt me but because you provoke in me intensity of emotions that I have never experienced or known before. Today has been unbearable – inside me is volcanic turmoil and pain. I want you, only you. I want my children to be safe too. But I have no idea what is happening in her head.

I recoil when she tried to touch me – I just want you – anything else is a betrayal.

And then I am so very jealous – I want time with you – together x

Please know that all I want in life is you – and I cannot bear to have to live through this all again – it is so very hard indeed. Please be ok my darling – I love you so very very much x