Hello – a difficult night – lots of tossing and turning. I didn’t really sleep and am very tired this morning – just getting up now.

I am overwhelmed with sadness, a loneliness born from breaking the heart of the one that I love as I try to extricate myself from here whilst trying to protect my children as best I can.

Today I feel like I am infected – a contamination bringing nothing but anguish to those close to me. I feel such profound weakness in my soul – my desire to be kind to others constrains me, it hampers me, it rips me apart as I try to find a path for me and for us.

I will not stay here with her but I recognise that you may not be able to tolerate the pain of all of this. I would not hold that against you and perhaps the best place for an infection like me is a form of quarantine – isolate me and there will be no more pain for others.

You are OMG – I love you x. I am so very sorry x.