Hello beautiful one – I first started sending messages to you on 18 Dec last year – this message now is the 600th message that I have sent.

That first message was provoked by the anguish that I felt by not being able to speak with you on the weekends. Pent up, burning a whole in my middle, an anguish that had to be heard. That anguish still exists when we are apart and sometimes it is even so much worse than before. As you said, the more you have the more you want. But the messages are my very best friends when we are apart because they are how I release that anguish and they are how I show you, in part, what I feel for you and how much you mean to me.

Words are often a poor substitute for an emotion, however artful they might be – and mine are not – and certainly not when compared with yours. But they do come from my heart, from the inner part of me that longs for you. They do describe feelings, thoughts, happiness, sadness and much more with an openness that I have never shared with anyone before. You know far more about the real me than anyone else.

And now my thoughts, my dreams, my words and these messages are for you – just you, only you – no one else. They are for the you that fills my heart, the you that challenges the order in my head, the you that has no “box” because no “box” could or should constrain such a wonderful spirit, the you whose smile engulfs my soul and melts my heart and whose gentle kiss is the most tender and loving feeling I have ever known.

Whatever “us” is or is not – you are by far the better part and I am immeasurably the better for ever being loved by you. Nurturing and enabling “us” so that I can love you as I want, being driven by the very intense feelings that I have for you, is the path that I want to follow – I belong to you, you are amazing, “us” is what I dream of.

Thank you for wanting me and my darling beautiful one for the 600th time in these messages – I love you x.