I have been thinking about showing you more of what I feel – not hiding away so much. Sometimes I feel a bit anxious about it because I have spent so long hiding me away and it feels very safe and comfortable now after so many years. But the problem is that I don’t want to be like that with you. I can’t really explain what it is about you but I feel so very safe with you – I know for sure that you will always be gentle with me. You talked the other day of not wanting me to feel that you are making me do something that I don’t want to do – but you have never done that, ever. And I know for sure that you would never do that to me – I trust you absolutely – that’s why I have always known that we will have no boundaries.

So even though I feel a bit anxious at times I really want to be truly me with you. I know what I feel about you – I love you absolutely – and I think that most of the time I show you that but sometimes it gets hidden away and that is not good for either of us. So I need to ask you, if you feel that I am not showing you what you need to see, please tell me – “us” is a wonderful thing and I believe that me being more open with you will simply make it even better. I really need help with this but equally I really want to do this for “us”. You are unique, you are everything, you are the love of my life – I have to be me with you. Sometimes I might get a bit anxious about this – so please bear with me – but please push me if I need a push.

I love you my darling – you are my beautiful one – this is truly very important to me because the prize for me in this is the ultimate prize – you – and I have to and want to do everything that I possibly can to make sure that I don’t lose you ever. x