Yet more difficult conversations and yet more circular ones too – nothing horrid though, just a bit wearing though. So I sit here and nod and shake my head at the relevant point in the conversation and then explain that it can’t all be my fault, and that my views have not changed nor will I commit beyond July. I am increasingly blunt, trying to be kind but rapidly getting to the edge of things now.

Now walking for a few minutes to get some respite from it all – and I need time with you in my head without interruption. Will go back in a bit and have an early shower – and I have reiterated that a repeat of last night is simply unacceptable – so I think that that will be ok.

How are you my darling? are you ok? I do hope so. I love you so very much – my heart yearns for you every moment of every day that we are apart. I am fine – just a bit worn out but feeling stronger inside because you are in my life. I cannot explain how mesmerising you are, how beautiful you are and how much I want you. You are everything – I love you my beautiful one x.