I have been thinking a lot about today, this evening.

We were incredibly close today – it was very very very lovely, a reflection of how truly beautiful you are to me. I worry though that I may have been way too forward in what I did at one point – I am very sorry if this is so. Although what happened is something that I have dreamt about and indeed have hoped for, I am really very sorry if this was just the wrong time and / or place – or simply more than you were comfortable with at this point.

For me though you just genuinely overwhelm me in every way and I don’t think that I am completely in control of myself at times – this is not meant to be an excuse, but more of an observation. Never before though have I felt what I felt today – your hands are the most magical and you are so very gentle and tender with me. At the same time I have never previously found myself quite so driven to be intimate with someone – I felt such a strong compulsion to physically love you. For me this just reinforces your absolute beauty and your idyllic presence in my heart. And I remain overwhelmed as I sit here now – on the verge of tears because I cannot really find the words to describe the wave of profound closeness and love that swept across me this afternoon whilst we were together.

You are indeed an very special person – “us” has already become a very special ‘thing’ in my heart – a true delight. I know that it is my job to take care of you and to look after your heart and I promise absolutely to do so – but I also (for my own sake before I burst with love for you) feel a compulsion to tell you how I feel about you – hence all of this.

One last thing perhaps – I need you to understand what you mean to me. Notwithstanding all of the above and the beauty that I see in you every day, I need you, and not just for physical reasons. Please do not misunderstand me, to say that I am attracted to you physically barely touches the surface of what I dream about for our time together; but at the same time, I could and would happily spend the rest of our lives together talking and simply being together as “us” without any physical intimacy – there would though still be the utmost love. I need you exactly as you are, in my head, disrupting and breaking every single rule that I had previously put in place – but in doing so liberating my soul to deliver someone who is unequivocally in love with you, and who is deliriously happy and content for the first time in a very long time. I do not want you to be anything other than you are – and one day I will explain properly about Zeno’s paradox!

I love you my beautiful one, x.