I cannot begin to describe how I feel this morning – I look at you and see such profound sadness in your face. I am so very sorry – I know that I can never put things back to where they were but I will do everything I can to make amends.

You are everything to me.

I love you my darling beautiful one x.

Hello beautiful one – I am looking forward to seeing you later this morning. I miss you so very much. Thank you for all of the messages yesterday.

You are so very kind and loving to me – it is the best feeling ever and I really want to be the same for you – so please do tell me if there is more that I can do for you. I want to be the one who looks after you and keeps you safe.

I love you my beautiful one x.

So looking forward to today – time with you without any oversight – a wonderful and amazing day awaits.

I love you x.

Dreaming of you – waking up longing for you, emotionally and physically – I really need to hold you in my arms.

I love you x.

Going to bed soon. Your smile mesmerises me. Your beauty enchants me. Your laugh makes me catch my breath – and your kiss melts me so that I am completely captivated and belong solely to you.

Ex-wife called about 10 mins ago – told me that she still loves me – seems very unlikely because I don’t believe that she loved me the first time round! Apparently she has seen all of the publicity recently….

I love you x.

Home now – drying out – on my own so going to sit here in the dark with you in my head. Thank you for my messages – thank you for being such a wonderful soul and more than anything thank you so very much for wanting me.

In everything that you do for me, I see your love and I am immeasurably enriched by it. I am so very grateful and simply overwhelmed by you.

I love you beautiful one x.

Hi – out for a walk in the rain, but it is peaceful and all there is is you in my head. So I am very happy (wet but happy). Talking to you, hearing your voice and seeing your smile when I close my eyes. Will be home soon so don’t fret and no ditches to negotiate….

I love you my beautiful one x.

I miss you so very much. I used to miss you a lot – in fact lots and lots and lots. But somehow since our trip everything is magnified, amplified and just so much more intense and stronger than before. I have eaten a bit now but for a while earlier this evening that gnawing ache in my middle caused by missing you was so profound that I just couldn’t bring myself to sit down and eat. That then got me into trouble and the dog was looking hopeful but in the end I managed to redeem the situation.

But fundamentally I don’t want to be here – although I do feel very selfish about things – but I can’t help it. I do though just want you – you make me whole – you calm the noise in my head. In all the time we were away – no noise, not one thing, nothing – and all because of you. You are definitely perfect, exquisite and mesmerising.

I need you more than you know. I have become very dependent upon you – and best of all I am so very content that that is so.

All I can think of is you – tomorrow will be our day.

I love you my beautiful one x.