Every day you never cease to amaze with how lovely you are. You show me such kindness and tenderness and so much love.

I love spending time with you – the sound of your voice makes me happy. It brings me a warm feeling within, right to my inner being. Your smile melts my heart and I just dissolve, belonging solely to you.

I made a choice yesterday – a good one I believe. There will be some fallout at some point once the realisation sets in that this is real and long lasting but so be it. For today that feeling of being unfairly treated re the asymmetric nature of things is just that little bit better.

I am very lucky to have you in my life – I love you my beautiful one x.

Today is a nice day – seeing you and spending time. Please don’t worry about me – I am fine just thinking about my talk for next week.

In everything I do or think about, you are there. Caring for you, thinking about you brings me great happiness – and then today you are worried about me showing great care and love and then that just reinforces to me what a wonderful and amazing soul that you are.

I love you my beautiful one x

Hello beautiful one – see you soon on our journey today – some time together at the end of the day – I love you x.

Thinking of you – missing you – wanting to fall asleep with you in my arms – I love you x.

Please don’t feel bad or sad for me – I am fine – honestly – I will not lie to you. I love you x.

Thinking about you – thinking about “us”. I do love you – and that is why I need you. I need to be able to show you how much I care for you. It is never a chore, you are never hard work, you are not a shrew – what you are is the love of my life. I need you or otherwise no one now – because I need to stop being not quite good enough.

For a long time after I was raped, I felt ashamed. It took a long time to ease that pain. This is a different pain but a pain nevertheless. That feeling of never being right whatever you do, however hard you try is corrosive – it slowly eats away at you and it has done so to me. But I can no longer bear this – it simply is not fair.

I want you – I need you – “us” is amazing – you are everything.

I love you – the love of my life, the woman of whom I dream and who has my heart x.

I am yours – I just need to describe a path from now to where I want to be. Come what may, I have to sleep alone now unless next to you. My heart can no longer cope with anything else.

I listen to what you tell me about how much of my feelings I show to you – genuinely I anguish over this, I am sorry (please don’t tell me off!), the thought of causing you anguish, distress or uncertainty simply because I am not transparent enough tears me apart. It rips through me, like a fire, uncontrolled consuming, destroying and leaving a trail of pain that I struggle to control. I must get better, I need to change, I am trying – I promise.

I love you my beautiful one x.

Hi – took a deep breath and said that I prefer sleeping in the spare room. Hasn’t gone down well – but it is the right thing for me and it is the right thing for “us”. And anyway what is the point of complaining when for the last few days I have been sent there anyway. But I have to remove myself for “us” and so I have.

All I think about is you – I need the person lying next to me to be you – or otherwise no one. You are everything to me and in my head I need to protect that – I have messed up once before but never again.

I love you my darling beautiful one x.