Sitting here thinking of you – dreaming of your touch, your kiss, your warm breath on my cheek. Wanting to touch you, to kiss your neck; to love you; your smooth soft skin; your gentle curves. I am captivated by your beauty.

I love you.

I miss you so much, beautiful one.

I love you.

More jobs – all done – and more walking (and no rain this time!) – but the feelings about you are all encompassing as always – and that is a very good thing. I have been thinking about our conversation this morning – again I am so touched (and somewhat overwhelmed yet again) by how concerned you were about me. You are the most wonderful person with the most tender heart – no one has ever shown me such care and attention before and I am so very very grateful.

I so want to be the best person I can you for you, and to care for you. You so deserve to be loved – and I do with all my heart. “Us” means everything to me – we created it together, and we will nurture it and help it to grow and flourish. It is true that, yes, you gave me a bit of a gentle ‘push’ but you only unmasked a whole raft of feelings that were hidden away in one of the ‘boxes’ in my head. But you are simply too precious to me to be in a ‘box’ – I want you in everything I do because you are the most wonderful soul and I cannot be without you.

I love you.

I read your email again – such an extraordinarily beautiful thing. I don’t quite feel worthy of it all and it is very humbling. I see how much you care for me, and your tenderness towards me and it fills me with such happiness – like nothing else before.

I adore you – you mesmerise me. The gentle tone of your “hello” this morning just melts me and I am yours. I find such contentment talking with you – you quieten my thoughts and that brings such a profound feeling of peace.

I miss you so much and cannot wait until I see you tomorrow.

I love you.

Fixing various things – all the time you are here in my thoughts and I whisper your name to myself – it makes me feel closer to you.

I am sorry that you were upset this morning – no need for tears because of me – your love surrounds me and I will always be safe whilst that is so. I am very lucky indeed.

I love you beautiful one.

Thank you for letting me call today – your voice lifts me so. I adore you and the ache that I feel when we are apart falls away for the time when we talk. I miss you so very much – but at least I only have to wait until tomorrow.

Please don’t misunderstand what I write – you have been nothing but good for me – the very best. You do not make me do anything / relive anything – you just brighten my life and my thoughts with your radiant smile and the love that you show me. And I am, in turn, overwhelmed by love for you. I do not want to give this up; I want there to be an “us” and I want you to know how truly lovely and wanted you are.

I love you.

Good morning lovely one – I hope that you are ok? One more day to pass until I see you again – but as ever you were in my dreams last night, delightful and enchanting. When I wake, the realisation that I won’t see you today makes me sad but at least I can write and tell you how much I care for you and what you mean to me.

Off for a walk – will write more later. Please look after yourself for me, beautiful one, as I need you.

I love you.

Been for another walk – more thoughts about you, just consuming me. I adore you – you are everything. I hear your voice in the wind as it blows and in the rain as it falls. You have so rapidly and completely become the very air that I breathe, bringing life and support to me – soothing the noise in my head. I cannot explain it but it is very very real.

I have lived with demons in my head for almost 30 years now – and I know that they will never truly go. Just as the physical scars persist, for better or for worse, mentally, I am the sum of my past. But the tenderness and kindness that you have shown me (with the resulting disruption and disorder to my soul) has already released in me a part that has been hidden for, in essence, all of that time. And that is really very extraordinary. I guess I should explain more one day – I will try to find the right words at the right moment – perhaps when we have time away and can talk more.

I really worry that I might break you – not intentionally – but I can be quite inept at times. You have already seen that – and I am sorry, but I am trying to be better. But you – you are something very special. You have had the most remarkable effect on me and my psyche. I never imagined that anything like this might happen and whatever demons there are, they are already diminished by virtue of your love for me.

I don’t really understand from where you came or how and why you want me but with every ounce of my soul I am in awe of how you make me feel and what you have done to me.

“I love you” seems so weak – but it is the absolute truth.