I read your email again – such an extraordinarily beautiful thing. I don’t quite feel worthy of it all and it is very humbling. I see how much you care for me, and your tenderness towards me and it fills me with such happiness – like nothing else before.

I adore you – you mesmerise me. The gentle tone of your “hello” this morning just melts me and I am yours. I find such contentment talking with you – you quieten my thoughts and that brings such a profound feeling of peace.

I miss you so much and cannot wait until I see you tomorrow.

I love you.

Fixing various things – all the time you are here in my thoughts and I whisper your name to myself – it makes me feel closer to you.

I am sorry that you were upset this morning – no need for tears because of me – your love surrounds me and I will always be safe whilst that is so. I am very lucky indeed.

I love you beautiful one.

Thank you for letting me call today – your voice lifts me so. I adore you and the ache that I feel when we are apart falls away for the time when we talk. I miss you so very much – but at least I only have to wait until tomorrow.

Please don’t misunderstand what I write – you have been nothing but good for me – the very best. You do not make me do anything / relive anything – you just brighten my life and my thoughts with your radiant smile and the love that you show me. And I am, in turn, overwhelmed by love for you. I do not want to give this up; I want there to be an “us” and I want you to know how truly lovely and wanted you are.

I love you.

Good morning lovely one – I hope that you are ok? One more day to pass until I see you again – but as ever you were in my dreams last night, delightful and enchanting. When I wake, the realisation that I won’t see you today makes me sad but at least I can write and tell you how much I care for you and what you mean to me.

Off for a walk – will write more later. Please look after yourself for me, beautiful one, as I need you.

I love you.

Been for another walk – more thoughts about you, just consuming me. I adore you – you are everything. I hear your voice in the wind as it blows and in the rain as it falls. You have so rapidly and completely become the very air that I breathe, bringing life and support to me – soothing the noise in my head. I cannot explain it but it is very very real.

I have lived with demons in my head for almost 30 years now – and I know that they will never truly go. Just as the physical scars persist, for better or for worse, mentally, I am the sum of my past. But the tenderness and kindness that you have shown me (with the resulting disruption and disorder to my soul) has already released in me a part that has been hidden for, in essence, all of that time. And that is really very extraordinary. I guess I should explain more one day – I will try to find the right words at the right moment – perhaps when we have time away and can talk more.

I really worry that I might break you – not intentionally – but I can be quite inept at times. You have already seen that – and I am sorry, but I am trying to be better. But you – you are something very special. You have had the most remarkable effect on me and my psyche. I never imagined that anything like this might happen and whatever demons there are, they are already diminished by virtue of your love for me.

I don’t really understand from where you came or how and why you want me but with every ounce of my soul I am in awe of how you make me feel and what you have done to me.

“I love you” seems so weak – but it is the absolute truth.

Still counting down hours – wishing time away until we are together again. Can’t get you out of my head – not that I want to, of course. But still very frustrated by being apart.

Yet every time I think about how kind and thoughtful you are to me, how beautiful you are and the closeness we share, I am just overcome with waves of cascading all-encompassing love for you – and it is just the most magical feeling ever. But still I miss you so…

I love you beautiful one.

Passing the time – found the photo with that dress from that evening. Makes me smile and I was right the first time – it was a great dress and you looked fantastic! And looking back I realise what a great time I had just talking with you when travelling and once we were there. But sorry to stress you out so…!

I love you.

A bit wet – back from a walk in the rain – more talking to myself about you but it helps me. I am so impatient to have time with you away – together, the two of us alone, and away from regular life. Time to be us, to be friends, to be close, and to learn about and share with each other. Time to enjoy your smile and your laugh; time to be enchanted by you. Time to discover and define our path; and time to just love you.

I love you.