Sitting here thinking of you – talking to you in my head. Telling you how much I love you and how much I want to care for you; telling you how happy you make me feel when I am with you; and telling you how beautiful you are to me. Apologising to you for the muddled signals I give you because I am inept; for not being better at all of this – but I am trying… Reminding you (and me!) about travel plans – I am still checking daily!

All of this takes the edge from how much I miss you – the ache is there but temporarily dulled – and I so long to see you. Your message today helps too – the slightest thing brings some sunshine to me.

I don’t always know what to say to you – sometimes I think I ramble on – but somehow I need to release the emotion in me for you and even if only very imperfectly try to tell you what you mean to me.

I love you.

Happy New Year my lovely one – a year for “us” I hope. Although apart, in my head you were in my arms at midnight and you name was on my lips – a kiss for you. Going for a walk, longing to hear your voice and to feel the peace and contentment that time with you brings.

You brighten my world, showing me what I have never seen before. You disrupt me, changing everything, and you show me love in the most extraordinary way. And all of it, every single detailed bit of it is just astonishingly wonderful, beguiling and engulfing me at every turn. I am overwhelmed by you and it is good.

I love you.

Insomnia catching up on me but my last thought of this year and the first of next will be of you and the joy you bring me.

We are “us” and I could not wish for anything more because “us”, and you in particular, are, for me, the be all and end all of life.

I love you beautiful one.

Re-reading your email with tears running down my cheek. You are an amazing person and I adore you. As ever time ticks by since we were last together but at least I can focus on when next I will see you – and the thought of that helps to keep me sane. I miss you.

I so much wanted to be with you today – just gently caressing your skin whilst sitting and talking, learning about you – your likes, your dislikes, your thoughts, your hopes… I long to learn all of those things (and more) about you – and in spending that time with you to show you how much you mean to me.

You are absolutely lovely in every imaginable way and I find you utterly and completely enthralling.

I love you

Wishing I was with you – holding you; caressing your skin. Dreaming of your touch, your gentleness and your kiss. Wanting to keep you safe – beautiful one.

I love you.

Somewhere in the world now it is 2017 – not too long left to go here too. I am not sure that either of us ever imagined that 2016 would end like this.

You have exploded in my head like a magical beacon of light illuminating and unmasking feelings that were there but which were never given any oxygen with which to breathe and grow. And every day now when your name lingers on my lips and it makes me catch my breath, that very same breath now enlivens those feelings encouraging them to develop and flourish.

I cannot convey to you how touched I am by your love – your note, your email – I am dumbfounded by it all.

I adore you; I am bereft without you; I am consumed by you and it is good. You are so very very good for my heart and my soul and I do not want to give you up – I so want there to be an “us” because it is a wonderful thing. I know that this may come across as being supremely selfish (and for that I am sorry) but when it comes to you I cannot be anything other than that and I will not apologise nor make excuses for being in love with you.

Every time I talk with you, your voice just enchants me – it is uplifting, hypnotic and addictive. Your love flows around me like a swirl of enchantment enriching me at every opportunity and for that I am eternally grateful.

I love you.

Missing you…

I love you

It was wonderful to talk with you this morning albeit as ever not for long enough. And then I read your email….

I don’t really know what to say. I am dumbfounded. The note you left me on thursday made me cry – this time I have had to hide away from others whilst I stifle the sobs – I wish I could just hold you in my arms.

Never in a lifetime could I write something that beautiful – you are quite extraordinary – and I am simply lost for words.

I love you.