Hello – back in my office, call with the US soon. I feel very flat – just like someone has taken part of me away – which in a way is exactly what has happened. The love of my life is far away and I miss her so very much. Whatever I do just temporarily dulls the pain, but it comes back each time with a vengeance.

I am quite simply lost without you – being quite so far away is so very painful. And whatever I used to feel on the weekends is like a minor scratch compared with this pain. I cannot ever recall feeling quite so bereft as I do today.

But… you ARE the love of my life and I have found you now. And that is good. And you are so many things to me – beautiful, kind, tender, gentle, funny, enticing, sexy, loving, caring, enchanting and so much more. And for as much as I feel this pain – it reminds me what a truly special and amazing person you are.

So as you said, we will survive, it won’t be easy, but we will – and for the simple reason that I love you, I want you and I want “us” – in the sunshine, you walking beside me, holding hands.

I love you my beautiful one x.

Hello beautiful one – back in my office for a short while.

Some time on my own – no one bothering me – just sat here thinking of you. Listening to your songs – reading your emails and your messages to me. Missing you – feeling sick, anxious, don’t want to be here or anywhere other than with you.

You don’t belong in the shadows – I need to find a path to the sunshine for us. I long to hold you, to feel your breathe on my cheek and your warmth close to me. We need our time and I so look forward to our trip in a few weeks time – it is that which sustains me now whilst we are apart.

I love you my darling beautiful one x.

Hello beautiful one – I hope that you get some sleep – you will be exhausted otherwise. Even the most mundane of emails from you is lovely to see. My heart skips a beat when I see your name in my inbox – does that make me “clingy” / “needy”? If so, I can’t help it, sorry – because you are the air that I breathe and at the moment without you I feel suffocated, lifeless and alone.

You are everything to me – enchanting and wonderful, beautiful in every way. My life is enriched by you and it will never be the same again, my darling, simply because of you. You have brought so many amazing facets and aspects as well as intense emotions to my life – truly extraordinary.

I love you so very much indeed – exquisite and mesmerising – I want you, with me, making “us” x.

Hello – in another meeting – not paying attention to anything. Solely thinking about you – the absolute love of my life.

I know that you are very sad today – I wish I could be there to care for you and support you.

I love you my beautiful one – you are everything to me.

Hello – how are you? I miss you loads – just dashing off to yet another meeting but constantly thinking of you. Finding it really hard to concentrate and just wanting to be away from here and indeed home (need to walk) so that I have time alone on my own with just you, your smile, your voice and your love.

Intense emotions for you – deep and profound love.

I love you my darling x.

Hi in my office – wishing I could call or even better that you were here. Feelings all over the place – profound happiness at the joy that you bring to me – a real sense of loss in my middle because you are so very very far away.

Doing everything to find things that make me feel closer to you.

Two things that you can do for me please – (1) from the bottom of my heart, please have a good time, enjoy yourself and be the beautiful amazing soul that I know that you are, and (2) come back to me so that I can tell you how much I love you face-to-face.

I love you my beautiful one x.

Leaving for work soon – can listen to your songs in the car – they make me smile, and cry, but they also help me to remember the love and closeness that we share. I am concentrating on the happy and magical memories that we have together because you have brought me so many of those in such a short time – and for that I am eternally grateful. You completely mesmerise me in a way that I cannot explain but it is the most amazing and intense of emotions.

I want you – I don’t know how to explain to you how truly beautiful you are to me – emotionally, physically, intimately – in every way you are the most definitely perfect woman for me.

I love you my darling x.

Hello beautiful one – a morning without you, no smiles across the table. But always your smile in my head with the gentle lilt of “thank you”. I miss you. Sleep safe my darling – I love you x.