Hi – back from walk – re-read what I wrote last night. A bit rambling sorry – too much wine, not enough sleep….

Much brighter this morning after some sleep – cold nose from the walk but very happy because I am deeply deeply in love with you. A bit more up to date on quantum particles but need to read more on gravity slingshot theory. Have to do jobs for work first though – text messages through the night because of broken things – but all now fixed. Working on red and green box thing.

Most important of all my darling beautiful one is you – you bring life, energy, warmth and love to my soul. You enchant, mesmerise and overwhelm me. You make my heart feel like it is going to burst and my head is constantly consumed with thoughts of you. Your kiss, your breath on my cheek – they flow into me, through me, around me and engulf me. And being close to you, touching you is, for me, a truly truly beautiful, peaceful and the most loving of experiences. And then you make me uncontrolled and I am yours.

So I think you are definitely perfect – and even if you won’t believe that, at least believe that you are definitely perfect for me.

I love you my beautiful one x.

Waiting for 6.30 – mustn’t go out before then or else I’m in trouble – today’s lesson is about the relativistic theory of quantum gravitational fields and gravitational slingshot theory. Thought I would listen to that although I need to concentrate on this one a bit more because my quantum particle knowledge is a not as good as it used to be.

Working on my homework for you too – trying to squash the demons in my head – I don’t want to lose you for any reason and I need to get my act together for you.

Usual saturday morning melancholy – I miss you so very much.

I love you my darling beautiful one x.

Tried to stay asleep as you said, but didn’t work, listened about Fibonacci and the golden ratio re spirals – but then that made me think of tracing patterns on your skin. I am lying here thinking of you – beautiful, fun, enchanting, loving.

I love you x.

Hello my darling beautiful one. I think I am a bit drunk (but not too much, honest). Everyone else has gone to sleep – just me and the dog and she is looking at me to say “I am not going out at this time of night”. I have fixed the outside lights so have done something useful already this weekend.

I need to tell you some things about me I think.

I love you. You are quite simply the most beautiful soul I have ever known. No one has ever shown me the kindness that you do. I see the love that you show me – in your smile, in your kiss, in what you do with your hands. To you this is all straightforward because you love me – and I get that – and it is truly wonderful. But for me, no one has ever shown me that same kindness – I have never seen anyone smile at me in the way that you do. Your smile from the day we all went to dinner with the Scandinavian visitors – it is etched into my soul, and will be forever.

And then, you drive me insane. You make me uncontrolled. And that takes a bit of getting used to. Well actually quite a lot of getting used to. I have never been uncontrolled before, ever. Not with anyone. Maybe that is my fault? perhaps? I don’t know. Other people have loved me, and I have loved others but not like this, not like you.

I want to belong to you – I am mindful of your heart – so I am sorry – but I cannot pretend otherwise. I want to belong to you – and actually I do belong to you – at least in my head and in my heart that is the case. I need you so.

Whilst I have been typing this I have been getting slower and slower perhaps a bit more drunk – and now I think that I have definitely had too much to drink.

I am very lonely without you.

I love you x.

Home now – so in love with you my beautiful one. My heart belongs to you.

I love you so very much x.

Still out – walking, then sitting, walking, then sitting – lovely stars and constellations tonight. I wish that you were here – really peaceful and I would love just to walk along holding your hand and talking with you about something, everything or even nothing.

You quieten the noise in my head; you have no idea how good you are for me – although I suspect in part that is because I am not very good at showing you that; I need you so my beautiful one.

I love you x.

One question if I may – next week or perhaps the week after – I know we can’t go away but would you like to go out for dinner one day? I could pick you up from home and drop you back too. Have a think – again if this was not for you then I would understand.

I love you x.

Out for a walk – sat here in the dark looking at the stars. You are in my thoughts – always. I am not sat here being melancholic, but I do miss you. But actually I am really very happy, you are such a perfect delight to me. I feel such closeness to you both emotionally and physically and I absolutely adore you.

I am sorry that I am a bit needy at times and then today I was clearly hard work and that should not be the case. But it all stems from being overwhelmed by your love and just feeling a bit unworthy of something that is quite so fantastic and unexpected. I promise I will get better.

I see your love in everything you do for me. I hope that my love for you is apparent to you, I so want you to feel loved and wanted.

Time to start walking again – getting a bit cold – but very happy because of you – a very very beautiful woman in my life.

I love you my beautiful one x.