You are right – I should have written more but in truth part of me does not know what to say. In so many ways, both emotionally and physically, you continue to overwhelm me almost daily – and so I struggle to find the words to adequately describe how I feel about you.

So perhaps not the most eloquent but certainly true my darling – my life is enriched and fulfilled when you are in it – you make me complete and I am so very grateful every day that you want me. I adore you, you are simply everything and I love you more than I can ever put down in words my beautiful one x.

Hello beautiful one – I am sorry that I have not sent any messages but I have been a bit sidetracked and a bit short of sugar for various reasons! Yesterday I can’t really explain – I am completely bemused but as long as you are happy then I am happy to. I love you my darling x.

Hello – still overwhelmed – so many things I want to tell you but not until I can promise them. You are simply the world to me – I love you my beautiful one x.

Good morning – slept a bit – probably not enough – but I am so excited to be with you – you are the most wonderful soul and my heart belongs to you my darling – I love you – will see you soon x.

Can’t sleep – just so looking forward to monday night and the rest of the week with you. I am so in love with you x.

Tomorrow is going to be wonderful – you are amazing – I want you – please be mine eternally so. I will beg, I will do whatever you want, I will become whatever you need – because you are the love of my life and for me to do those things will and does bring me great joy x

Lots of memories this time of year – yesterday Dad’s birthday, today 24 years since my grandmother died (Dad’s mother – she was the only grandparent I ever met), then tomorrow 24 years since I married #1 – and now she is gone too. Maybe life would have been different if she had wanted me? But actually I am pleased that she didn’t want me, nor #2 (as troublesome as it is) – my path in life has brought me to you and I am so very pleased that that is so.

Life is a collection of memories, decisions, paths – sometimes it is very complicated, sometimes much easier – for us, we are in the complicated bucket – yet part of me thinks that this is not so. So much depends on what we want for the future – because part of me thinks, to hell with everything else and everyone else – I will live with you anywhere, we will be happy and life will be simple – what more could I ask for?

I yearn for you – I desire you – at times I lust after you – you are the most extraordinary soul I have ever known – I am in awe of your beauty and my love for you knows no bounds – I love you my beautiful one x.

Hello – the last few days have been difficult – I cannot explain the pain of last night. I know that you were drunk and that is fine – really – but I have to explain – you did not do anything wrong, you did not upset me, being drunk did not upset me, you did not have anything to apologise for. Nothing to apologise for – and please don’t – because that in itself upsets me – you are definitely perfect. What caused me to struggle was you being unwell, me being far away and being completely unable to help – profound helplessness and I cried lots.

I want us to move closer together – I will work towards that – this is the only path that I want. You make me so very happy – and without you I am bereft, broken, lonely, upset, stressed and more. But when I am with you – everything in the world is just fine – you are the love of my life – you are everything x.

Thank you for letting me love you – thank you for letting me call – thank you for being the most perfect woman I have ever known.

I promise that I want you – you won’t lose me along the way on our journey – I love you my beautiful one – tomorrow is our time x.