I hope you are feeling better today – last night I felt really helpless re your distress – I found it very hard. Then there was all the fuss here – that too was hard. But today, I have you in my thoughts, your songs with me, and it is quiet here – and I am feeling tired but slowly better.

I find it almost impossible at times to explain to you what you mean to me. Sometimes when I write it feels like every sentence just makes things worse, every sentence just says one thing to you and something else to me – and I don’t understand – and for that I am very sorry and ask your forgiveness.

Being in love with you is amazing – more than I have ever known; being apart when you are distressed breaks my heart; such are the ups and downs of “us”. You are though definitely perfect – I will never let you go – I love you x.

Hello – so very tired – out for a walk, sat down on the grass and fell asleep for a bit. Missing you lots x.

I am so very sorry if I am writing “go away” messages – I never want you to go away.

Are you feeling better my beautiful one? I love you x

Hello beautiful one – I hope you are ok. I missed you lots yesterday but at least there is only one day now until I see you again. I am so looking forward to our travel this week – I love you beautiful one x.

Missing you – wanting you – counting down the time until monday night – I love you my darling x.

Shower time shortly – a somewhat difficult last hour or so but no real unpleasantness at least – still as usual mostly it is my fault.

After shower I will be in my room lying there thinking of you – and I will be happy. I hope that I give you confidence in how I feel about you. I worry that some of the distress you feel at times is because you feel vulnerable because of me. I need to talk with you a little more to help me understand if there is more that I can do. I want to do everything I can to look after you and your heart.

You are so very precious and special to me – I must make sure that I never ever let you go. I love you my beautiful one x.

Bought more red wine – generated a bad response here – so it was tipped away (not by me). Then I went to buy some more and this time I kept it so that I could drink it – which I am. Otherwise things here have been ok for most of the day but I wonder if they will get a bit worse soon.

You make me smile – you make me happy – please be safe and please be happy.

I love you my darling beautiful one x.

Wishing we were together, I have a real urge to be sitting with you holding your hand. Wanting to feel you wrapped in my arms, just chatting.

Wishing we were going on holiday together – wanting us not to have oversight – wanting us to be in the sunshine so that every day I can be going home with you. I too don’t need much in a home – just you – and everything else after that is pretty much irrelevant.

In my heart I belong to you – and only to you – I just need to make it real – I love you my beautiful one x.

Hi – the more I think about last night and how distressed you were, the more my heart aches. I simply can’t bear to see you in distress – it just rips through me. I, we, need to talk a little more some time about a path to the sunshine and what it might mean – I don’t think that either of us can manage to carry on like this in the long term – it is at times disablingly painful, and plus, life should just not be like this – we should just be together and happy because we are together – nothing more, nothing less.

All I do, every hour of every day, day after day, is think about you – all I want is you – all I desire is you – and you are everything. You make me complete, content, aroused, excited, happy and so much more. I could not wish for more in my life, I never anticipated that “us” would be quite so amazing – and so I am very fortunate. I have found the love of my life – and you are she – delightfully definitely perfect in every way and I love you x.