In my office – waiting patiently for you, listening to your songs, just you in my heart. I love you x.

The more I sit here and think about you and then read what you wrote yesterday the more sad and desolate I become. Please be ok my darling, please keep yourself safe – I want you so very much and I really need you back here with me. Just as you said that you had fallen for me, so I have fallen for you – we are entwined now and I cannot be me without you.

I love you my beautiful one x.

Hello beautiful one – I hope that you are sleeping and getting some rest. I miss you loads and am constantly thinking about you. Yesterday was clearly a terrible day for you and I am really sorry that that was so. Did anything specific set it off?

Your messages sound so distressed – I could not sleep and am really really struggling with the helplessness of it all. You are so very precious to me, such a wonderful soul, so very loving and beautiful – and I can do nothing at the moment to help you. I am sorry.

We need to talk when you are back to work through some decisions for both of us. I trust you absolutely to make the right choice for you but none of the choices are easy ones and irrespective of what you choose you need help and support. And that is very hard when you are so far away.

I miss you terribly – still, painfully slowly counting down the time until next week. Longing to hold you close to me my darling, keeping you safe. I love you my beautiful one x.

Hello – at work – off to do some things soon as on-call. I am so very worried about you indeed. I feel extremely helpless and wish that we could speak. I can’t pretend to have answers to everything by any means but still I would listen and try and talk through things with you. You are so very far away and I don’t want you to be there all on your own and unsupported.

From here, through these messages – all I can do is to tell you that I love you my darling. You are simply everything to me and I want you more than anything. Please keep yourself safe whilst you are so far away. I want you back here with me.

I love you my beautiful one x.

Hello – back to work today for me – will listen to your songs on the way. No enthusiasm for anything other than thinking about you – I miss you and there is no respite from that pain until you are back. I am completely captivated and mesmerised by you – my heart yearns for you.

I love you my beautiful one x.

You sound very sad today – I wish I could hold you and tell you that everything is ok. I need to see that beautiful smile of yours but I suspect that it is hidden away at the moment behind your loneliness.

I want you to know that I cannot be without you. I love you – I desire you – I want to care for you – I want to be uncontrolled with you. My beautiful one, you are everything x.

night #4 – dreaming of you, your gentle curves, longing to hold you – I love you x.

I am very sorry if I have somehow made you feel as if you have done something wrong. If I have made you feel that you have personally hurt me then that was not my intent at all and I am very sorry.

You have never – not once – done anything to hurt me – you have only ever been the kindest and most loving soul. What has caused me pain – a deep visceral loss – is the fact of us being apart. Far worse than I imagined – but it has ripped into me, through me – making me feel bereft.

But this is just because I love you so very much – so how can I complain? I cannot be sad because you are the love of my life. I cannot be sad because your smile melts my heart instantly – I cannot be sad because the physical and emotional joy of being intimate with you is the most heavenly emotion I have ever known.

I do though miss you and I will do so until the moment you next walk into my office in just over a week’s time. I will also think about you constantly – literally so – and that is a very good thing. You bring me a happiness and a contentment that is profound – my love for you grows daily running through me completely – whenever we are apart I will feel a sadness, but I would never ever wish you to go away. I want you absolutely – I cannot be without you – for whatever pain I feel whilst apart is dwarfed by the joy of loving you.

I love you my darling – you make me complete by making “us” with me – and I want that to be so forever more x.