Yet more difficult conversations and yet more circular ones too – nothing horrid though, just a bit wearing though. So I sit here and nod and shake my head at the relevant point in the conversation and then explain that it can’t all be my fault, and that my views have not changed nor will I commit beyond July. I am increasingly blunt, trying to be kind but rapidly getting to the edge of things now.

Now walking for a few minutes to get some respite from it all – and I need time with you in my head without interruption. Will go back in a bit and have an early shower – and I have reiterated that a repeat of last night is simply unacceptable – so I think that that will be ok.

How are you my darling? are you ok? I do hope so. I love you so very much – my heart yearns for you every moment of every day that we are apart. I am fine – just a bit worn out but feeling stronger inside because you are in my life. I cannot explain how mesmerising you are, how beautiful you are and how much I want you. You are everything – I love you my beautiful one x.

Hi finished exercise now – arms sore, back stronger though – feeling better for some time alone with your songs.

Wondering how you are – if you are ok. Thinking of that radiant smile illuminating my life – waves of love for you emanating from within me just desperate to hold you close – tomorrow morning…

I dream of your gentle curves, your exquisite femininity and I am overwhelmed by you – I love you my beautiful one x.

These extra days are really very difficult for me and then with all the turmoil yesterday it has been even harder than usual. I have felt very unsettled today really missing you and at times tearful and full of nausea. I cannot bear to be smothered with unreal kindness and the contrast with you is so very striking indeed. It just all reinforces to me how truly special and magical you are and how much you enrich my life. It is simply torturous to have to spend time apart and I am so very grateful for this next two weeks as they approach.

My heart constantly yearns for you when we are apart – you are the love of my life and I want you with me please – I love you x.

Good morning beautiful one – I hope that you slept well. I miss you so very much and only one day until I see you again. I keep listening to your songs and thinking of your smile – I adore you – you are everything to me and I love you with all my heart x.

Dreaming of you in my arms – missing you so very much – I love you my darling x.

I am being smothered with kindness here and it is very uncomfortable – years of normal behaviour have been overturned apparently in an afternoon it would seem. But I know that it is not real.

All I think of is you – you consume my thoughts, my heart – you make me love you with your gentleness and tenderness. You enrich my life in so many ways, loving you is magical and heavenly and is more than I could ever have imagined. You make me complete.

I love you my darling – you are everything to me – I just long for time with you because that is when I feel pure happiness, contentment and desire with and for you – the love of my life x.

Thinking of you – have been out for a walk. I sat on the bench and closed my eyes and thought of you. I could hear you voice – the gentle “thank you” and your laugh – and it made me smile. I wonder how you are – I hope that you are happy even though we are apart. I can’t wait until Tuesday – we need time together – I simply can’t have enough time with you – and all I can do is count down the time…..

Falling asleep with you, waking with you, feeling your breath on my cheek – sharing with you is just perfect – and I want more.

I long to be with you – I long to make love to you – I love you my darling x.

I hope that you are having a nice time this afternoon with your friend and that you are not having a hard time. I wish though I was with you – I am really missing you. Lots of difficult discussions here – very circular – I am going to use your rephrasing of words later to try and get my views across.

I am going for a walk shortly to get some fresh air – I have said that I want time on my own away from the conversations – and that is understood. I want time with just you in my thoughts with your songs – I want to talk to you, I will sit on the stone bench and tell you how much you mean to me. So much has happened in the last few months – and perhaps things have progressed faster than you imagined but I can’t change how I feel about you. You constantly draw me to you and the closer I get the more I am drawn. As you said I want to be healthy, happy and with you….. and being with you makes me very happy indeed.

I love you my beautiful one – please be safe and take care x.