You make me complete – I want you – the love of my life x.

Lying here daydreaming – reading a bit – then more daydreaming – reading a bit more. Not really concentrating on the book, just on you. Wanting to kiss you and feel my tongue gently playing with yours, wanting to caress your back and feel that gentle curve, wanting to touch you and feel you shudder as I love you.

I love you my beautiful one x.

On my own now, your songs, your emails, my heart, a few tears, but so very happy to be in love with you and to have you in my life. Thank you so much for your messages but please don’t get yourself into trouble for me. I will be here waiting for you come what may and whilst my heart is always overjoyed to get a message from you, more than anything I want you to be safe.

Things are fine here – quiet, no fuss. Happy to be sleeping alone, keeping you safe in my heart.

Deeply in love with my beautiful one – I miss you x.

Back home – waiting to be on my own so I can listen to your songs without any fuss. Sat here wondering how you are – and hoping that in the midst of this all that you are enjoying yourself at least a little. I love you beautiful one x.

Sat outside in the dark, looking at the stars again – some but not all will be the same as the ones you might see tonight. And as silly as that sounds that makes me feel a little bit closer to you.

This time a year ago, you were my friend; then 6 months ago, I was “a little bit” in love with you but trying to hide it and then, now, I am absolutely and profoundly in love with you – how much things change…. I cannot now imagine my life without you. I don’t want to think of it without you. And yesterday, today, next week will just reinforce that feeling.

Before I was in love with you and hiding it, now I show it to you (I hope), next I need to a find a path so that I can walk beside you in the sunshine with our love binding us together openly. I never anticipated that “us” would grow to be what it has become already – and the more it grows, the more I see what an amazing and truly magical thing “us” can and will be. I think back to our trip and the happiness we shared in each other’s company – so very simple and at ease with each other. That time with you was the happiest I have been for years – I really cannot remember anything better. No one has ever been quite so delightful, beautiful and enticing all at the same time. You are definitely perfect.

I cannot explain to you the love and desire that I feel for you. I am drawn to you – spending time with you is amazing, peaceful and pure contentment; being intimate with you leaves me completely speechless, you are breathtakingly beautiful, so very feminine with those gentle curves that drive me to distraction and make me completely uncontrolled for you.

So, everything has changed in less than a year – the most extraordinary change, an amazing change – and I do not want to go back, not one tiny bit. All I want to do is to look forward and to find the sunshine that “us” deserves.

I love you my darling – you are my beautiful one x.

Hi – going home shortly – then for a walk – will sit out again looking at the stars thinking of you.

I miss you loads my beautiful one x.

Hello – back in my office, call with the US soon. I feel very flat – just like someone has taken part of me away – which in a way is exactly what has happened. The love of my life is far away and I miss her so very much. Whatever I do just temporarily dulls the pain, but it comes back each time with a vengeance.

I am quite simply lost without you – being quite so far away is so very painful. And whatever I used to feel on the weekends is like a minor scratch compared with this pain. I cannot ever recall feeling quite so bereft as I do today.

But… you ARE the love of my life and I have found you now. And that is good. And you are so many things to me – beautiful, kind, tender, gentle, funny, enticing, sexy, loving, caring, enchanting and so much more. And for as much as I feel this pain – it reminds me what a truly special and amazing person you are.

So as you said, we will survive, it won’t be easy, but we will – and for the simple reason that I love you, I want you and I want “us” – in the sunshine, you walking beside me, holding hands.

I love you my beautiful one x.

Hello beautiful one – back in my office for a short while.

Some time on my own – no one bothering me – just sat here thinking of you. Listening to your songs – reading your emails and your messages to me. Missing you – feeling sick, anxious, don’t want to be here or anywhere other than with you.

You don’t belong in the shadows – I need to find a path to the sunshine for us. I long to hold you, to feel your breathe on my cheek and your warmth close to me. We need our time and I so look forward to our trip in a few weeks time – it is that which sustains me now whilst we are apart.

I love you my darling beautiful one x.