Hello beautiful one – finished my jobs, finished rowing – thank you for your messages today. I know that this is hard for you but I hope that you are eating a bit and sleeping better than before.

It is very sunny here and reasonably warm – I have just been doing lots of things to keep me occupied but all the time thinking of you. Listening to your songs and being told off for being anti-social and pre-occupied but to be honest there is not much to talk about here either.

I miss you terribly – I worry about you – I would give anything to hear your voice, just to be able to say to you “I love you” and to tell you that you beautiful. As “us” has progressed so many emotions – the strength of which I had never anticipated. I never imagined that my love for you would become so intense or now that I could miss someone quite as much as I miss you this week. Watching your plane on the screen on thursday was perhaps the most painful thing that I can remember – the sense of loss was so profound.

All of this just reinforces to me what an amazing woman you are and how you are so very definitely perfect. As I said earlier I am drawn to you in a way that I cannot explain – I want you – and we need to find a way to the sunshine my darling. Every time you send a message and my phone pings my heart soars – that such a small thing has such a profound effect on me is just a reflection of how entwined within my soul you have become. Both emotionally and physically I want to be entwined with you – so that there is no longer either just me or just you – there is simply “us”.

I love you my beautiful one – I am just counting down the time until you are back safely – you are everything to me x.

Rowing shortly then vegetable peeler as usual – wondering how you are. Intense waves of emotions – some happy, some sad, missing you more than I can say. Sometimes it feels like a normal Sunday where I don’t see you anyway but then suddenly there is the realisation that there is a whole week to go still until I see you again – and that is hard.

Thinking about your radiant smile and the lilting “thank you”. Wanting to caress the small of your back as I hold you. Wanting to feel you gently giving way as I slowly push inside you.

You are everything – my heart belongs to you.

I love you my beautiful one x.

Out and about doing more jobs – reflecting on things, thinking about the future and what it might mean. Trying to consider various ways to plot out a path to the sunshine for us. Some of it is very complicated and it is hard to know what might be the best way forward – but no decisions, just thoughts. What I do know for sure is that I am completely and utterly drawn to you my darling. You are definitely perfect in every way for me. I want you so very much, I want to care for you, and share with you – everything, no boundaries in life at all of any sort.

The last few weeks have taught me much – Manchester, the conversation here last week re sleeping arrangements and the pain that I feel now whilst you are away. You are the most important by far – I will then always keep you safe in my heart – I won’t let anything interfere with that. I can promise this now because I know it to be so – I will always keep you safe in everything that we do, emotionally, physically – everything.

I love you very much my beautiful one x.

Hoping you are sleeping a bit better – wanting you to be / feel as good as you can be given everything. Worrying about you and your heart.

I am desperate to hold you, to kiss you, to tell you how much I love you. I dreamt of you all through the night last night – in and out of sleep, you are always there. And then you sent a message and that was so very lovely – thank you. Having you in bed with me would be quite simply perfect – that is what our dreams are made of. I can lie only with you – it is you or no one – and falling asleep with you in my arms is one of the most magical feelings in the whole world.

I hope that you have a good day out and about. I miss you so very much, I am very jealous (sorry) that it is not me with you, but very genuinely I do want you to have a good time.

I love you my beautiful one x.

Hello my darling – finished the grass – very sunny day here.

Missing you loads and loads – listening to your songs while doing things – more questions about the songs but I just carried on regardless.

You are such a beautiful woman, such a caring and loving soul, so very feminine and sexy, definitely perfect. I just long to have you back here with me. The more I think about you and how I feel the more I am convinced that we really need time together – just to be “us”, to talk, to share, to make love – to nurture “us” and allow it to flourish.

You are the love of my life my beautiful one – you have captured my heart forever – I love you x.

Thank you beautiful one for the messages in the night – please be safe when sending them. More jobs – more grass cutting…. – will write more later but just need you to know that you are everything – always in my thoughts and I want to make you truly mine.

I love you x.

Hello – clocks changed – walking again soon. Another day closer to seeing you again – like a clock ticking down. Hard to explain how much I miss you but I know that you will be back – hope you are ok my darling – keep safe.

I love you my beautiful one x.

night #3 – listening to your songs quietly – in and out of sleep – all the time you are here with me – I love you x.