I am sat here thinking of you – you mesmerise me, you entice me, you excite me, you care for me, you love me – I adore you, I want you, I dream of you, I yearn for you, I love you my darling.

I feel lost without you – having you be so far far away is so very hard – constantly wondering how you are…

I feel so very jealous too – I want to be the person with you – the person falling asleep with you, the person waking up with you, the person sharing with you. I try not to be jealous but I can’t help it – my desire to be with you just overwhelms me at times.

You are everything in my life now and my life needs to change so that you and I can be “us” together in the sunshine. I love you my beautiful one x.

Every time I think about how much love you show me, I become a bit overwhelmed. You are the kindest soul – and so I feel very sad at times when I think of you being ignored. I can’t imagine ignoring you – if it were entirely in my gift I would spend all of my time with you. Time with you is so very precious and is pure contentment – we need time together, just “us”, relaxing and truly just “us” without any interference or intrusion from others. I want to talk with you about our future, I want us to build and share our own memories, I want “us” to grow, to be even greater than it is now as you said in your message last night.

For now though, I want you to be safe this week – I want you to be as ok as you can be, looking after yourself, (selfishly) for me – because I cannot imagine being without you now. You are in my heart and in my soul, safely entrenched, woven into my very being. My every thought relates to you – I am engulfed by a passion towards you which consumes me fuelling the intense emotions that I have for you, the love of my life.

Emotionally and physically you make me complete – you are exquisite – I cannot adequately describe the deep and profound love that I feel for you and which grows stronger every day, day by day – you are forever my darling beautiful one x.

Hello beautiful one – finished my jobs, finished rowing – thank you for your messages today. I know that this is hard for you but I hope that you are eating a bit and sleeping better than before.

It is very sunny here and reasonably warm – I have just been doing lots of things to keep me occupied but all the time thinking of you. Listening to your songs and being told off for being anti-social and pre-occupied but to be honest there is not much to talk about here either.

I miss you terribly – I worry about you – I would give anything to hear your voice, just to be able to say to you “I love you” and to tell you that you beautiful. As “us” has progressed so many emotions – the strength of which I had never anticipated. I never imagined that my love for you would become so intense or now that I could miss someone quite as much as I miss you this week. Watching your plane on the screen on thursday was perhaps the most painful thing that I can remember – the sense of loss was so profound.

All of this just reinforces to me what an amazing woman you are and how you are so very definitely perfect. As I said earlier I am drawn to you in a way that I cannot explain – I want you – and we need to find a way to the sunshine my darling. Every time you send a message and my phone pings my heart soars – that such a small thing has such a profound effect on me is just a reflection of how entwined within my soul you have become. Both emotionally and physically I want to be entwined with you – so that there is no longer either just me or just you – there is simply “us”.

I love you my beautiful one – I am just counting down the time until you are back safely – you are everything to me x.

Rowing shortly then vegetable peeler as usual – wondering how you are. Intense waves of emotions – some happy, some sad, missing you more than I can say. Sometimes it feels like a normal Sunday where I don’t see you anyway but then suddenly there is the realisation that there is a whole week to go still until I see you again – and that is hard.

Thinking about your radiant smile and the lilting “thank you”. Wanting to caress the small of your back as I hold you. Wanting to feel you gently giving way as I slowly push inside you.

You are everything – my heart belongs to you.

I love you my beautiful one x.

Out and about doing more jobs – reflecting on things, thinking about the future and what it might mean. Trying to consider various ways to plot out a path to the sunshine for us. Some of it is very complicated and it is hard to know what might be the best way forward – but no decisions, just thoughts. What I do know for sure is that I am completely and utterly drawn to you my darling. You are definitely perfect in every way for me. I want you so very much, I want to care for you, and share with you – everything, no boundaries in life at all of any sort.

The last few weeks have taught me much – Manchester, the conversation here last week re sleeping arrangements and the pain that I feel now whilst you are away. You are the most important by far – I will then always keep you safe in my heart – I won’t let anything interfere with that. I can promise this now because I know it to be so – I will always keep you safe in everything that we do, emotionally, physically – everything.

I love you very much my beautiful one x.

Hoping you are sleeping a bit better – wanting you to be / feel as good as you can be given everything. Worrying about you and your heart.

I am desperate to hold you, to kiss you, to tell you how much I love you. I dreamt of you all through the night last night – in and out of sleep, you are always there. And then you sent a message and that was so very lovely – thank you. Having you in bed with me would be quite simply perfect – that is what our dreams are made of. I can lie only with you – it is you or no one – and falling asleep with you in my arms is one of the most magical feelings in the whole world.

I hope that you have a good day out and about. I miss you so very much, I am very jealous (sorry) that it is not me with you, but very genuinely I do want you to have a good time.

I love you my beautiful one x.

Hello my darling – finished the grass – very sunny day here.

Missing you loads and loads – listening to your songs while doing things – more questions about the songs but I just carried on regardless.

You are such a beautiful woman, such a caring and loving soul, so very feminine and sexy, definitely perfect. I just long to have you back here with me. The more I think about you and how I feel the more I am convinced that we really need time together – just to be “us”, to talk, to share, to make love – to nurture “us” and allow it to flourish.

You are the love of my life my beautiful one – you have captured my heart forever – I love you x.

Thank you beautiful one for the messages in the night – please be safe when sending them. More jobs – more grass cutting…. – will write more later but just need you to know that you are everything – always in my thoughts and I want to make you truly mine.

I love you x.